How to have friends?
What are the keys to becoming sociable?
We are all more or less extroverted, some of us show a constant joy in life
on their faces, while others seem more reserved is shyer.
In reality, there is no problem to be introverted, and there are even
benefits, indeed introverted people turn out to be wonderful friends through
their attentive listening. They take the time to really care about their
interlocutors instead of monopolizing speech.
Yet it is important to develop sociability because to succeed in our the society we must communicate with other people, so I will summarize in four
points how to become someone more sociable.
1- to dramatize :
you have probably already lived this moment when you
arrive at a party or in a place where you do not know anyone, and you tell
yourself that everyone is watching you and judging you. The reality is that
most people do not have time to worry about you because they are already busy
caring for themselves.
We are all the same on this point then started to focus your attention on
others instead of focusing on your movements and actions. This technique of
deviating from tension is a little like meditation where the principle is to
divert attention from one's thoughts to focus on one's breath and one's body.
2- Do not want to be perfect :
it is not useful to carefully choose
each of his words, indeed it will make you look less authentic and people will
think that you have something to hide, is not just afraid to make mistakes, a
good method when you hesitate to do something is to ask yourself the following
question: what would be the worst things that could happen? Take an example you
hesitated to speak at a meeting that it would be the worst situation that could
happen? you may be stressed and do not express yourself in the best way yes and
then you will not die and you will be proud to be in action, do not hesitate to
tell silly stories about you people appreciate when we make fun of ourselves,
it proves that we are comfortable with what we are and it will help you not to
be afraid anymore
from the eyes of others.
3- be yourself:
when we suffer from social anxiety we can fall into the
trap of telling ourselves that it is better to be like everyone else to get into
a mold and to be appreciated, the truth is that it is not useful to try
to conform and hide his personality. Do not be afraid to show that they really
are because it will allow you to naturally filter your relationships. Do you
know the principle of Jim rhodes that says that each of us and the average of
the five people who attend it the most, it is therefore essential to stay
oneself to surround ourselves with people who share the same values as us and
that we really love.
4- train socializing :
as for everything in life to progress you have to
practice and get out of your comfort zone, if you have a little trouble talking
to strangers then join a club to discover people who have the same passions as
you, it will be easier at first because you will have common topics of
conversation. More if you play sports you can build a relationship with
effort.
Then you can make things worse by imposing challenges like exchanging
several sentences with one or a stranger, but anyway the more you train and the
more comfortable you will be in the exercise and it will seem natural to you.
What is important is to set small daily goals; as with everything in life,
it is by training over and over again that you become good at something if you
play the guitar every day for just 15 minutes for a year then after a year
you'll be a good guitarist and it's the same with the communication it works.
Know that you get good things by communicating with others and it is
therefore essential to develop this skill.
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